I’m not an angry person though I spit out angry words a lot. The last time I thought I was angry was when I was still at work and I felt betrayed with our team’s schedule but it turns out it was not really what I thought cause I was still able to act with reason. All reactions were calculated and necessary precautions were carefully laid out.

A few hours ago, at around 1, Manila Time, a neighbor’s niece got drunk again and went through her regular stunts. She opened up the house, which I earlier locked per orders from her aunt as she does not tolerate how she turns it into a motel and occasional drug den, she started shouting on the top of her lungs like she’s back in the middle of the jungles of Cansirong, and worse, she kept banging the wooden wall which separates her shanty from our boarding house.

I should just have left her alone since I go through a similar stunt when I get drunk sans the banging on walls. I sing Insy Winsy Spider or cry over the one who got away until the sandman takes me to lala land. I tried telling them to let others sleep but still she went on and on and even told me to fuck off. At that point, my anger took the best of me so I took a bottle of Tanduay and smashed it just outside the back door but she kept on doing her thing and then banged harder, I could not really take it anymore so I opened the window, and said “Hoy Saba kay naay natog”. I said that using my macho tone, by the way. I can’t really remember what she said but I took it as personal attacks and she even said, no one can stop her because she’s at her house. I took it as a challenge so I hurried to get the assistance of barangay tanods.

Two of them came, and as we checked the house, they were already silent until the drunken 19-year old lady came out and started screaming again. We politely asked her to go back to sleep but she just had to throw a feat. She reminds me of myself that way and I was really amused with her in a way. But then she started pointing fingers at me and accusing me of oppressing her because we are better off and that I am more noisy than her cause I use the Internet and my friends come over. I just had to rebut and do it with sarcasm even though I knew it’s unwise to pick a fight with a drunk woman. She then turned her attention on the boarders and went inside the house and refused to get out and I got furious! She pointed a finger at me one more time and it landed on my upper lip and I thought it would bleed since her fingers were sharp so I punched her on the arm. I don’t really know if it was hard but I hope she’s alright. She started picking bottles after that so the Tanods decided to call up the police.

The police came and took her in cause they too can’t control her. She was really wasted but she said she isn’t as 6 bottles of Tanduay can’t get a woman drunk. She must have started drinking at age 10 for her to have that alcohol tolerance level. It all ended at around 3 AM but I still can’t sleep. My BP was 140/110 when I checked and I just had a hard time sleeping. I was also blaming myself for all that happend. Had I risen above her challenge and took a walk, it would not have blown out of proportions. I’m used to drunk neighbors. Riza’s dad used to do it a lot when we were just a door apart and I just let it pass in the hopes that they would also be as tolerant when I get drunk and noisy but this is different, I had to be a good care taker for the boarding house and I take responsibilities seriously.

I still regret getting violent even if it was retaliatory. I loath the fact that I have violent tendencies when I am angry but I also feel better in knowing that I can still feel remorse for doing things out of anger.