Hating My Penis

The penis is god’s gift to man (if ever there is a god). It’s not hard to maintain and you need not buy specialized shampoos, sprays, wipes or even perfumes just to keep it fresh and good to go. It’s less prone to urinary tract infection so you can play with it even with dirty fingers and you don’t need specialized gels or lotions to enjoy a different sensation. It’s also a plug and play device and you don’t need additional driver (the geek has speaketh) to make it run properly. it’s foolproof and you just need to watch less than 10 minutes of hardcore porn to know how to operate it. I never thought there is a downside to having a penis until yesterday when I was at SM. SM Cebu has installed waterless urinals. I don’t know if it’s a hundred percent waterless or perhaps they just instructed their janitorial staff not to flush it with H₂0 when someone is around. Anyway, I can’t really explain what happened but my dickie (sounds like a popular brand of clothing) was all over the place and squirted some of it’s contents on my shorts. I’ve seen these kinds of incidents in movies and it always cracks me up but this time, I laughing my heart out was the last thing that came to mind. There are a lot people using the rest room so pointing the hot air guzzler at the front of my pants is not an option so as getting a wad of tissue paper and wiping it till it gets dry. Jees, what a shame that would be. The best possible way to avert myself of the humiliation was to act calm and just hide the stain with my shirt which was just enough to cover the stain. I have to pull my pants up to my tummy and just do a Johnny Walker (keep walking). I’ll never forget the day I hated my penis. Perhaps I should give it a hand next time it needs some assistance. If you know what I mean. ^_~

Tags: bendever gerona, funny, penis, story