When a Buddy Gets Hitched

A knock on my door two days ago surprised me. It was around 12 in the afternoon while I was, again, marinating in front of the monitor, looking for ways to make more money out of my blog. The first thing that came to mind was to ignore it. Typing gingerly so as not to give the impression that I’m awake (most of my friends, even the mailman, knows about my sleeping habit). I kept on doing my thing while the person on the other side keeps on knocking. It went on for about 2 minutes. Someone that persistent could only mean he has an extremely important message so,I turned off the monitor and went to the door pretending I just woke up.

It was Leo, a high school buddy who I haven’t kept in touch with as often as I usually do. Timid when sober and the life of the party after a couple of shots, Leo’s the second toughest, next to myself, when it comes to drinking sprees. I had the advantage of having triple of his body fat. Among our group, Leo was the one who always get the girl which, more often than not, ends up getting knocked up for the first time. With good looks and all, he lived the life of a country "rock star".

Well, things really turned 360 after high school, Leo straightened up, some finished college and I, the, supposed to be, serious type, ended as a bum. I had a high-responsibility job then and I thought that was all that mattered until it all ended and realized I’ve missed a lot. I have little regrets, though.

Leo told me he’s getting married on the first of May to her long time girlfriend. They already have a child together and I guess it’s more than a year old already. I don’t know if they were already married civilly he just said he’s getting a church wedding and I’m supposed to give the first reading. The news came much to my surprise as I never really thought he would be the first one among the group to get married. I even thought it’s gonna be me cause I was the serious type.

When Leo was gone, I can’t help but wonder what life would have been had I not join the Sangguniang Kabataan and pursued my plans to study Political Science then proceed to Bachelor of Laws. Could I have been better off? Could I feel more happier and contented? Could I be married now too?

I haven’t really thought about marriage since that time. Marriage was not one of my priorities. I don’t even have a girlfriend for christ’s sake. I wanna get rich, travel the world, try new things,  be popular. I know having a relationship would just spoil that and I don’t want to be derailed. I don’t know what got into me but I felt so alone at that moment that I wanted to get married too. If only it were possible.

Most of my batch mates in high school have already tied the knot and seem to be living happily now even if they are struggling to make ends meet and I’m here stuck in my room, unintended of my life and so alone. It makes me envious of people who are easy to please, who have low ambitions, whose happiness means just having something to eat or seeing their children or having a new relationship. I couldn’t do that. I don’t believe in marriage and I don’t think it would last long and if it does, it’s often laden with lies. Sorry for being too realistic.

I don’t know why. I’m just too ambitious, I guess. Having been in politics for five years has thought me that people with money really has more perks than those who don’t. They get to influence decisions, spend more time with their families, and they get a chance to help others more through their donations. I want to be like that and I think there is nothing wrong about desiring to be that person. It just makes me more motivated.

To Leo and Mahani, his fiance,  all I can wish for them is to be good parents to their children. That’s something you should do even if the bond of "love" wears off. As for me, I guess being alone is the price I have to pay to reach my aspirations. I’ll just play with the music for now.